Angela Duckworth on Grit, Ryan Holiday's 33 Lessons & Improving Your Decision-Making
“If you want to look good in front of thousands, you have to outwork thousands in front of nobody.” — Damian Lillard
Good morning, coaches!
Today we have articles on 33 lessons from Ryan Holiday & how to harness your curiosity, two must-listen podcasts on how to improve your decision-making and grit, and a book about how to better think about stress.
If you have any feedback or content you think could be helpful for other coaches, feel free to reach out or leave a comment.
Here we go!
ARTICLES
33 Things I Stole From People Smarter Than Me on the Way to 33: Love this from best-selling author Ryan Holiday - lots of great takeaways and well-worth the read.
Peter Thiel: “Competition is for losers.” I loved this the second I heard it. When people compete, somebody loses. So go where you’re the only one. Do what only you can do. Run a race with yourself.
A few years ago I was exploring a book project with Lance Armstrong and he showed me some of the texts people had sent him when his world came crashing down. “Some people lean in when their friends take heat,” he said, “some people lean away.” I decided I wanted to be a lean-in type, even if I didn’t always agree, even if it was their fault.
Harnessing Curiosity: In today’s day in age, there is endless material and it’s important to harness your attention towards the topics that interest you. You have to be cognizant that in order to improve in a specific area, you have to purposefully focus your curiosity in that direction.
Research shows that the trigger for curiosity is our sense that there’s an easy opportunity to learn a lot. That’s a moment-to-moment judgment, which is why curiosity can come and go so quickly.
PODCASTS
Note: if you want to listen to one of these podcasts, click the link at the end of the description to play it on the app of your choice. You may need to scroll back within your app to the date the episode released. If you are listening on a computer, I suggest using Overcast.
The Knowledge Project: #89 Maria Konnikova: Less Certainty, More Inquiry. This is a great episode (author David Epstein said so too) with Maria Konnikova, author of The Biggest Bluff: How I Learned to Pay Attention, Master Myself, and Win. The episode starts a little slow with her story on what led her to start playing poker later in life after never playing a hand, but there are so many incredible takeaways afterwards. She talks about what makes a great coach, the importance of separating process from outcome, and honing your individual decision-making processes. She also touches on the idea of tilt and recognizing when you’re feeling an emotion that may be impacting your decision-making. [August 4, 2020–1 hour, 37 minutes] iTunes Podcast | Spotify | Overcast | Breaker | Google | Website Link
I think what people need to understand about tilt and about emotion is that there’s nothing universal about how we react to things. So emotions are universal, but what triggers emotions, that’s very specific to a person.
Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris: #272: The Secrets of Gritty People | Angela Duckworth. Duckworth is a psychologist who deemed the term ‘grit’ that is ever-so popular today. She talks about the common misconceptions about grit and gritty people, the importance of rest along the way to your long-term goal, the relationship between grit and resilience, and where grit lies in times like today as we are going through a tough period. She frames the idea with her life, as she tragically just lost her father to COVID-19. [August 10, 2020–54 minutes] iTunes Podcast | Spotify | Breaker | Overcast | Google | Website Link
I define grit as the combination of passion and perseverance for really long-term goals.
MISCELLANEOUS
Question to Think About (via Dream Big: Know What You Want, Why You Want It, and What You’re Going to Do About It by Bob Goff)
“If God answered every one of your prayers, would it change anyone’s life outside of your own?”
Randall Stutman, founder and co-head of the Leadership Practice at CRA (replace “hedge fund manager” with “head coach”) (via Capital Allocators):
The biggest issue for hedge fund managers is many of them like themselves way too much. They're very powerful people both financially and personally, and they don't have anybody in their lives that is willing to speak truth to them.
I can respect your competence or I can respect your character. And in many cases inside places like hedge funds or private equity firms, there's a high degree of respect on skill and a low degree of respect on character.
You're only as good as you're willing to be bad.
BOOK
The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It by Kelly McGonigal: Many of us view stress as something bad, but Stanford Psychology Professor Dr. Kelly McGonigal’s research shows that stress has an incredible upside if we frame it properly within ourselves. Her research shows that stress itself isn’t harmful for us; rather, undergoing stress while believing that stress is bad for you is what is harmful. Stress actually helps us focus, gives us more energy, and strengthens the bonds we have with others.
“When the most commonly reported sources of stress in people’s lives overlap with the greatest sources of meaning, it’s clear that stress may even contribute to well-being.”
“If you see yourself as part of something bigger — a team, an organization, a community, or a mission — it takes the toxicity out of striving. When your primary goal is to contribute to this “something bigger,” you still work just as hard, but the motivation driving you is different. Rather than just trying to prove that you are good enough or better than others, you view your efforts as serving a purpose great than yourself. Instead of focusing on only your own success, you also want to support others to further the broader mission.”
“People who report being in a flow state display clear signs of a challenge response. Top performers in these fields aren’t physiologically calm under pressure; rather, they have strong challenges. The stress response gives them access to their mental and physical resources, and the result is increased confidence, enhanced concentration, and peak performance.”